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As parents and educators, we are used to being able to make things "all better," but we can't make this all better. We just have to go on. However, we can work to ensure a safer, more caring world for the future.
Liz Kennedy
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The impact of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon is just sinking in. A tragedy of this magnitude is almost impossible for adults to comprehend, much less children. How do we talk to our children about it? Should we? If so, what can we expect? Are there behaviors or reactions to which we should pay particular attention. After seeking the advice of professionals, being involved in discussions with educators, and observing children's reactions, I began to develop a list of web sites I think you will find helpful. In addition to the sites discussed below, you will find resources in the linkbox to your right
Scholastic's "America Under Attack"
Scholastic, the world's largest publisher of children's books, has created a special online report for parents, teachers, and older children. There are thirteen sections, including the following:
- For Parents provides information on dealing with trauma, provided by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., the Senior Fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy. You can download "Advice for Children/Youth" and "Advice for Parents/Caregivers."
- For Teachers provides lesson ideas with pages you can download and reproduce, as well as advice about helping children cope and links to other helpful web sites.
- At the Scene is an article about the experiences of students at Stuyvesant High School, which is located very close to the World Trade Center site.
- Kids Show Support provides an opportunity for your children to submit words of support for the rescue workers, victims, and their families.
More Resources for Parents and Teachers
One of the resources I found particularly helpful in answering the question, "How much are children ready to know?" was "Telling Children About 'Bullies.'" The article, which I found on The Poynter Institute web site, is based on an interview with Kim Walton, a clinical nurse specialist in child and adolescent mental health, who serves as the director of Youth Service Hospital in indianapolis. According to Walton,
"When they ask questions, answer them, then get on with the normal routines as much as possible. She also said, "When children feel threatened, they will regress. We will see behavior changes, nightmares, difficulty getting to sleep or difficulty concentrating in class."
The article includes advice on explaining what happened in a way that children will understand.
Here are some other sites you might find useful:
Crayola - "Care and Share Gift Cards to Color"
Baylor College of Medicine - "Helping kids deal with tragedy of terrorism"
PBS Kids - "Resources for Parents"
PBS America Responds - "Classroom Resources."
Two Immediate Concerns
You may have been careful to shield your young children from the TV news and its powerful visual images, and that's good. You may have only allowed your older children to watch the terrorist news coverage while you have been present to address their concerns, and that is also good. However, a number of weekly magazines that contain page after page of attack photographs and articles that could be greatly upsetting to young children are beginning to appear. Please be equally careful in monitoring access to these and other print materials.
The rage and hurt resulting from the attacks have already resulted in some acts of intolerance against Arabs and Muslims in the United States. It is important that you help your children to understand that even if people from a particular ethnic or religious background do turn out to have committed the attacks, that certainly does not make everyone of that ethnic or religious background the enemy. If your children have Middle Eastern neighbors or schoolmates, those children may be particularly in need of kindness and friendship right now.
To those of you who lost loved ones in the attacks, my deepest sympathy.
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